St. Francis and a man whose not so much a saint.

Thought 11: So I just finished a book call Chasing Francis. It is a fictional book about a pastor who planted an evangelical church in New England when he loses his faith in God right in front of his congregation. His uncle is a friar in Italy and takes him to Italy for a pilgrimage to following the life of St. Francis of Assisi.

St. Francis' time was much like our own. For the first time people started having some disposable income and wealth. Now we have three percent of the population with forty percent of the resources. The church was very central in this taking money to forgive sins and trying to keep themselves in power by making themselves the gateway to God. Nowadays we have the prosperity gospel being preached in many churches. Francis was also around when faith was starting to be replaced by science and today we are scientific people. People had been giving up on the gospel because when they saw the church they didn't see the gospel. They saw people just like them: trying to gain and keep power and wealth.

Francis was an aristocrat and a soldier that gave all his wealth away to follow Jesus. His followers were also aristocrats who did the very same. The ministered to the people Jesus had come to minister to: the sick and the poor. His lifestyle truly showed that money and wealth were unnecessary for happiness and that made people believe in the gospel again. He preached with his actions. He could be a wealthy aristocrat but he didn't want that cause all he needed was Jesus. His actions put the illegitimate churches to shame and people could easily tell which was the real "good news."

The pastor in the book comes back and makes a new plan for his church. He desires to strip them of their 'evangelical' title and make it a "come and see" church. Come and see how we care for the poor, come and see how we find God in everything, come and see how we create a community, and decide whether or not you want a part of it. Francis said "preach always and when necessary use words." God's truth is not to be proven with words because it can't be. Our God is irrational, unpredictable, and inconceivable. Our actions when guided by him go past the reasonable and reach truth and that is how we show God to others. Truth does not need to be defended because truth can stand on it's own.

Thought 12: A guy came into work last week and often at work I get asked if I am in school and what I want to do with my life. When I say I want to be a pastor I get the "really? good for you." From time to time I will get a story about how they used to go to a church or how they still do. This man told me a little bit of his story. He was born in Austria and his grandfather took part in the Holocaust. He was raised in a very prejudiced home and only ever hung out with straight, working-class, white men. He came to Vancouver with his wife and his wife asked if they could rent out their extra bedroom to a girl named Jessica. He agreed and him and Jessica became close often watching football together. One day he was at work and one of his co-workers asked if Jessica was living with him. He answered that she was and why he asked. The man said "oh never mind it's something that you won't like and I don't want to ruin it." Well the man answered "well you have to tell me now or else I will beat the **** out of you." The man told him that he knew Jessica when she was still known as John. Now the guy got angry and drove home. He found Jessica sitting on the patio and he went up grabbed her by the hair and threw her off. His wife then jumped on his back trying to stop him but he grabbed her by the hair and threw her off. He then went inside and watched football ignoring the weeping girls on his front lawn. He said it was then that he realized the problem wasn't with them but with him. Since that day he has tried his best to treat everyone as equals and that has brought him to God.

Battle Royale

Thought 9: If you were close to me than you know how rough the first half of 2010 was for me. If you are still close to me that you know how great the second half of 2010 has been. This was a poem I wrote for my class during my rough half of 2010. During that time I didn't want to share it. Now that it is over why not put it up. I don't know if it's good but here it is:

Palisade

He should, but he can’t. Never releasing
the scent of her perfume. Dreaming
about her lips, her leaving, her belief,
her ever-constant faith.
He comes to a wall, stopped here
at the base, at the interfering palisade,
wishing that there were answers to his journey.
Bound in the grip of frustration he shouts
at the gates in front of him.
He smells the crispness of the air,
its cold breath, its life-
inducing power, its slow brush along
along his cheek, and the grip releasing.
He wakens in a fresh clarifying view
of the narrow, lit pathway surrounded,
which seems just conceivable, because it tastes of her. 

Thought 10: On another note I have had a battle royale of decisions for my future as of late. There has been what I want to do, what others want me to do, and what God wants me to do. Now being laid out like that the choice should be obvious to me that I should do what God wants to do. The problem was that a few weeks ago I didn't know which one God wanted me to do. But last week God let me know what it is and now changes will be happening in my life. He revealed to me that I can't rely on one person to influence my decision. What he wants me to do is hard but he has given me peace and it seems peace to the one who matters so much to me. I am not going to announce it on a blog so if you really care what it entails than you will ask me.